is there anybody out there?
it is at moments after i have dreamed
of the rare entertainment of your eyes,
when (being fool to fancy) i have deemed
with your peculiar mouth my heart made wise;
at moments when the glassy darkness holds
the genuine apparition of your smile
(it was through tears always)and silence moulds
such strangeness as was mine a little while;
moments when my once more illustrious arms
are filled with fascination, when my breast
wears the intolerant brightness of your charms:
one pierced moment whiter than the rest
-turning from the tremendous lie of sleep
i watch the roses of the day grow deep.
how cat power speaks to my soul. her voice is hauntingly beautiful. makes sadness and misery seem so elegant.
“Lower me down
Pin me in
Secure the grounds
For the lead
And the dregs of my bed
I’ve been sleepin’
For the later parade”
i don’t know what it is about sad music that makes me feel so alive. i think mostly because it takes me back to a time when i could FEEL. these medicines make me empty. and i hate it. i remember feeling passionate. i remember feeling flawless. i was unstoppable. i was any and everything i wanted to be. now i’m a shell. behind a wall. i don’t like this.
i got this to write in….but my mind always seems blank these days.
boo on me….
